Scenario 1: Tyler graduates in May. He's smart, personable, has a solid GPA. His mom has already emailed three of her former colleagues on his behalf. Tyler doesn't know. 

Scenario 2: Zoe has a networking event for her industry next Thursday. She's known about it for two weeks. She still hasn't registered. Her stomach hurts just thinking about it. 

Scenario 3: Marcus's dad offers to "make a call" to his old boss. Marcus says yes — because it's easier than figuring out how to do it himself. 

Sound familiar?

Here's what the research is telling us: 

Nine in ten Gen Z employees report experiencing social discomfort or anxiety in work settings — with more than half saying they feel it at least half the time. And 61% of Gen Z have a medically diagnosed anxiety condition — which means walking into a room full of strangers and "working it" isn't just uncomfortable. For many of them, it's genuinely hard. 

Why? A few converging reasons:

🔹 Texting replaced phone calls. Face-to-face conversations feel intimidating because there's no time to think before hitting "send." And the pandemic cost many of them two critical years of in-person social development.

🔹 Missing out on in-person interactions at school and at work, they immersed themselves in screens and technology — and now a room full of people feels like a foreign country.

🔹 62% of Gen Z globally struggles to build meaningful relationships — even though they desperately want connection.

🔹 And Stanford psychologist Jamil Zaki's research found something fascinating: young adults crave closeness but misjudge how much their peers want that too. They think everyone else is comfortable. They're not. 

So what do we do? As career coaches and parents, I mean.

We stop doing it for them. (I know. Ouch.)

Here's what actually helps:

✅ Let them practice low-stakes conversations. Have them call to make their own doctor's appointment. Order their own food when the waiter gets it wrong. Small stuff builds the muscle.

✅ Teach them the "one goal" rule. Before any networking event, write down ONE specific, measurable goal: "I will introduce myself to two people I don't know." Not "don't be awkward." That's not a goal, that's a wish.

✅ Give them the gift of curiosity. The best networkers aren't the most interesting people in the room — they're the most interested. Teach them to ask questions and actually listen. The pressure lifts immediately.

✅ Share your own cringe stories. Tell them about the time you blanked on someone's name. Or said something weird. Normalize the stumble. It makes them braver.

✅ Let them own the follow-up. Suggest they reach out to your contact. Give them the name. Step back. Their email, their call, their relationship. 

Networking is a skill — not a personality trait. And like any skill, it has to be practiced by the person who needs it.

Our GenZers are smart and capable. They just need the room to try — and occasionally, magnificently fail.

What's one thing you did (or wish you'd done) to help a young adult in your life learn to network?